wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
