i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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