census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
