Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
