Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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