i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
