he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
