wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
