the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
