I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
