Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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