I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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