i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Shitshow foam night was such a success
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize