he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
