hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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