my mouth tastes like poor choices
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
