it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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