I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he puts the penis in happiness.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
