your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
