covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
