Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
