I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
