Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
