great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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