im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
