i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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