I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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