He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
