I could have mohawked her pubes.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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