I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
