Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
