At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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