you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
