somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
