youre lurking in front of me
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
