This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
