In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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