I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
