the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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