Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
