I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
