This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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