worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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