I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize