That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
