Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
