you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
