NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
