What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
