It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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