i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
