how can u be prego again
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
