You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
