turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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