My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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