I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
