Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Randomize