her facebook's as public as her vagina
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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