Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
