I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
