Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
