Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
