you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
