weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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