Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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