Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
This baby is an asshole
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize