Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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