Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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