i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
