I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
