I hate all girls vehemently.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
please don't ironically join a cult
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