Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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