As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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