you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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