This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
