tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
