i may or may not be watching the land before time
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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